I'm Trying Hard to Like the Old White Guy

Okay, we have this old white guy preaching at our church once a month-ish. I can stand the Salvation-Army-prohibition-on-alcohol-shoved-down-my-throat, I can stand the old school high value and usage of the KJV (as though these were God's own spoke words), I can even stand the old school expectations that hymns are somehow more "acceptable to God" than praise songs. I say that I can stand - I don't agree but I can stand. What I can't stand are the blatantly "white"-centric remarks that begin each sermon. "I was born in New Westminster, when I was young it was known as BRITISH Columbia (total spoken volume emphasis on 'British') Blah, blah, blah, blah . . . it's so good to see that Chinese now know the Lord." That's where I lose it. Yeah, we Chinese used to swing on trees until you white folk saved us and taught us how to be civilized. Arrogant, self-centered . . . I don't need some old white guy who thinks he is more spiritual than me preach that he's better than me - expressed indirectly through his wrinkled "white"-centric tendencies. Funny thing is that the guy is involved with teaching ESL - perhaps I just can't stand him because he is "the Old White Guy." If I could only find a baseball bat with the words "post-colonial" written on them - I'd lay the smackdown on this bad boy.

Technical Definition of "Gossip"

What is gossip? Really, what does it mean - technically? Someone shared with me that gossip is talk or chatter that is malicious in nature. I didn't really catch the entire definition, but something about that particular definition didn't sit right with me. It sort of sounded like this: "I didn't gossip because my intent was not malicious." I disagree.

Malicious = deliberately harmful; spiteful (used to describe something: malicious gossip)

The word "gossip" does not refer necessarily to something malicious in nature.

Gossip = to talk socially without exchanging too much information; a report (often malicious) about the behavior of other people; rumor or talk about others of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature

Gossip often reflects the shallowness of character and the self-righteousness of a person's heart - spoiled kids love to gossip, stay-at-home moms tend to gossip, and people with control problems like to gossip (and often with malicious intent to demonize their opponents thereby re-establishing control in the void).

What is a morally bankrupt government?

Okay, so we have a bunch of these Anti-Israeli war machine protests popping up all over the country. One of the catch phrases I've heard from the local Arab/Muslim protest guy (I think from Toronto) with the megaphone say: "Israel is a morally bankrupt government!" Alright, that kinda makes sense - but then is Lebannon a morally wealthy government? What would you do if a known terrorist group started launching shoulder held missiles at your country? Say about 100 per day? Hitting random targets along the border. And let's add that they are a political party within the federal structure of the country next to yours. Oh and by the way, their prime directive includes annihilating your nation and setting up a government next door to yours with ideology that will certainly wipe you off the face of the planet. Plus, they are in bed with 2 other neighboring countries who hate your guts - like really hate your guts. Pretty confusing? What is a morally bankrupt government? Is it one that chooses to protect it's citizens? In that case, both Lebannon and Israel are quite guilty of that - since Lebannon has allowed for Hezbollah to flourish and rearm itself financially, politically, and militarily after the Israeli withdrawal back in 2000 . . . for what reason? Perhaps to protect its citizens? How does a terrorist group such as Hezbollah develop into such a military machine similar to an army without "somebody" (think Russell Peters) allowing it to happen? They have weapons that put small third world countries to shame - firepower, they have a military rank and file - structure, they have financial backing - cash money . . . no we are not talking about Nike or Microsoft, we are talking about Hezbollah. And another thing, its quite arrogant of them to call themselves "Party of God." I'm not suggesting that there is a simple solution to this, but c'mon already - what's up with the fear mongering and the fuel dumping on a critical global firestorm?

Body Odor & Ear Wax - That "Gwai Low/Low Faan" Factor

Okay, I've heard it for years - typically from my Chinese Aunts (both from my extended family and church). White folks smell "different" from Asians. I don't even want to go there. But then again, it has been scientifically proven. Yes, can you believe that? Click here for the article from the NY Times.

But then again my mother-in-law believes that white people smell because they eat cheese. If cheese smells, people who eat cheese must smell too. Good ole' Chinese wisdom . . . good grief.

Leadership Dialogue Rant #1

Okay, I admit that I didn't expect this one coming. After "preparing" the leadership several months ago with a ream of my personal philosophy of ministry, resume, theological stance, blah, blah, blah . . . I realized tonight that perhaps they did not read any of the material when they hired me on. Which is okay . . . for now. A few highlights of the comments we wrestled through tonight:

- "Last Sunday's worship was terrible!" This was the first of a series of comments. Most of these comments were rant in nature - not the welcoming type that encourages fellowship and open sharing. Rather the type that forces everyone to clam up due to it's intensity and shock 'n' awe value. This was followed up with a ton of "back up" data composed of phrases such as "those people" or "they" or "some people." Apparently, "they" think (and the "they" represented "99%" of the congregation) that if things don't change "they" will leave. I responded by sharing that I received a few positive responses from people - statistically speaking, it is impossible that 99% of the congregation hated it. Talk about sensationalism. Maybe its just me, but I've never felt that coercion and manipulation worked - actually I did at my last church, they beat me to a pulp (but that's another story). Obviously, I was totally in the mood to sing "Kum Ba Yah" at this point - and this was just the beginning. I thought that at the conclusion to a 3 part series on worship - which emphasized that worship was not about our choice of music, style or tradition - people would be more in tune with the fact that worship is essentially about God and not about us. Back to the drawing board. I also felt that the comment was rather arrogant because it implied that someone besides God had to capacity to judge whether or not something was acceptable or not . . . or better yet judge something to be terrible. Does someone have a god complex?

- "Too many new songs, too contemporary, I don't understand why we have to sing praise songs that just repeat the same phrase 7 times." I responded by saying that if it required for me to sing hymns all day and all night in order to achieve or vision of a healthy community . . . I would. But a better way, a more Christian way, would be to find common ground. Then I was told that I better learn some hymns. I responded by saying "you can learn some praise songs." This seem to fan the flame that seem to have been burning for a few days by then. I have a problem with people who get into the whole "new" versus "old" debate. It usually involves phrases such as "our church has never done that before . . . [and it never will]." There is something so out of touch with culture in that type of an attitude. Presently, we worship in a church that is immersed in culture - the ethnic groups represented each morning, the types of instruments sitting on our stage, the different age groups, and the fact that we all have different values that shape who we are. Here's food for thought: Hymns used to be new songs, hymns were contemporary at one point in time.

- "Because of all the new songs at the summer camp, I felt like I was baby sitting!" Okay, by this time their is an obvious air of angst and frustration in the air. This is no longer about "terrible worship" it is slipping into the realm of "I'm-gonna-get-so-personal-about-this-one-that-I'm-gonna-bring-you-all-down." What does summer camp have to do with "terrible worship?" It was a different context entirely. The one reaction I did have was that perhaps I was too spiritually immature and inferior to fellowship with the "Baby Sitter" - then I thought, "gheesh how arrogant, high and mighty, holier-than-thou of you to say that!"

- "Remember, we ARE a Chinese church." Strike three - I still don't know what this has to do with "terrible worship." Is it a comment about the conservative nature of the church? Is it a blatant admission to the arrogance and racism of Chinese? What does this mean? Perhaps this was a poor attempt to insinuate "we are conversative" -what I did hear and see was "I am a legalist and fundamentalist." Perhaps we should respond by building a 12 foot wall around our compound to keep out the non-Chinese. But I chose to share about a certain Mennonite church in Vancouver that woke up one decade and realized that their neighborhood had become entirely Chinese. For a Mennonite raised in a German-speaking church, this is a HUGE thing. Think about singing, reading the Bible, preaching entirely done in German - they had to make a choice. Either the REAL God of Israel only speaks German OR God might actually know some Chinese too. Fortunately for Killarney Park, they chose the latter. I have hope that we ARE the "body of Christ" - a community that reflects the beauty and tapestry of God's creation - socially, economically, racially, psychologically, etc. I just didn't feel like getting into the whole "Chinese-really-aren't-the-center-of-the-universe-get-over-it" debate.

- "We need to address the dress code." This was an issue that provided some good dialogue. I have always felt that going down the road of "Christian leaders should . . . dress, talk, smell, look, act . . ." was the WRONG direction. This can easily lead towards the direction of legalism and shallow spirituality with no depth. It also begs the question, "what if Christian leaders do not fit the rules and qualifications you have set out?" Does the person who creates the rules have God-like powers to rewrite what should and should not be? No. Unfortunately, extreme legalism breeds a conformist mentality based on fear and guilt - there is a complete failure to truly love and accept.



Round 1. Fight!

Invites to Join the Big Boys

Okay, if we invite one group, we need to invite them all. That's how the Taliban did it. If Hezbollah gets to join the government, let them all join as well - such as Hamas. It would seem that Israel doesn't mind contributing millions of dollars to Palestine just to blow up some of "their" buildings. I never thought I'd see the day when terroists sell out and join some government - assimilate into the system. If anything, I feel sorry for the Lebanese people - they are the only government in the region that allows for both Islamics and Christians to serve in public office together. Every other place you go to (except for Israel) you might just get shot running for office if you are a non-Islamic. So Hezbollah comes in with a seed group of soldiers from Iran, give them 2 decades or so, now they are a political party. Think of the NDP, but deadlier, with a mission to establish a militant Islamic state here in British Columbia - one that smells just like Iran. Crazy thoughts, eh?

Re: Being Special & Aimlessly Wandering

Had an interesting conversation with a fellow this morning. Hooked up late in the morning at the neighborhood Tim Horton's to do a meet-n-greet customary for new pastors integrating into a new community. Anyhow, everything about this conversation revolved around one thing - nothing deep or philosophical, just the same ole' plain thing . . . "I know what I should do but I'm just lazy." Yep, that's the whole conversation - all 3 hours worth. There is a ton of stuff that any of us could probably stuff into our melons for whatever it is worth, but if you are just lazy . . . does it even matter? So I sat across from the fellow thinking weird thoughts . . . such as, "gotta grow up already" or "that's life buddy" or "just do something man, anything would do." Anyhow, we somehow got on the topic of architecture . . . sure enough, the discussion found its way to the phrase "form and function." If memory serves me correctly, the actual phrase is "form follows function." The fellow across from me adamantly added ". . . AND meaning." Whoosh, like a speeding bullet - what the?


"And meaning?" I responded by saying "if you have form and function, doesn't meaning just emerge?" Aside from the fact that I questioned whether or not the lazy mind would even thoughtfully consider meaning . . . I can already hear it, "putter-putter-spew-spew-cough-cough" (sound of mental engine stalling and seizing). I don't remember ever hearing a response. I didn't think that it was time to engage in the finer points of existentialism. Then again, being lazy could be similar to the sense of alienation experienced as a result of being unique in the indifferent "crowd" or "others."

Greater Vancouver Area AYCE Sushi

Alright, it's about time that I documented my exploits. I don't even know how many AYCE (all you can eat) sushi places we've hit since coming here. Let me recap the past 2 months:

Richmond Sushi (lunch visit in Richmond)
Sui Sha Ya (dinner visit in Coquitlam)
Top Gun Sushi (always lunch visits at the New Westminster Quay)
Taisho Sushi (lunch visit in Burnaby's Metro Town)
Fish on Rice (always dinner visits in Burnaby off Willingdon & south on Kingsway)

We've been back to Top Gun Sushi's lunch several times within the past 2 months. They are quite consistent - service and quality of food. Judging by the PDA Bluetooth hook ups with the kitchen and layout of their menu I would guess they were run by the same guys at Richmond Sushi (which is just as techno freakie). The Quay is nice to visit, not much to look in the Public Market - definitely a place I would not visit if Top Gun wasn't around. Don't forget to get your "2nd hour free parking" voucher. Bathrooms are clean. Funky smell sometimes - bleach mixed with funk from paper mills outside. 8 out of 10 bones.

Richmond Sushi is efficient and consistent as well. This is a no brainer for lunch. Technology offers accurate orders - but then again, I have been conditioned by the Sushi joints to ALWAYS miss a few items from my original order. Always an 8.5 out of 10 bones.

Fish on Rice is scoring at the top of our "best place for AYCE sushi dinner." They have a good variety of sashimi, sushi, robata, and yes they also have soft drinks on their menu. By far, the most variety on a menu - yes we did a cross comparison with the other places listed above. We especially enjoy the rock cod robata, toro nigiri, and most definitely the tuna and beef tataki. Always a solid performance, good portions, and consistent taste. However, don't bother using the facilities though. 8.5 out of 10 bones (because of the rest rooms).

Sui Sha Ya in Coquitlam was a pigsty. The place was sticky and dirty - which normally does not concern me - but this place was Taiwan, mildew, humid nasty. The bathroom was worthy of shutting the place down. The service was horrible - I just can't stand hunting down a server visually with the "pissed off WWE superstar stare." A few times we even spoke directly to the servers and they just ignored us - totally deserving of the smackdown! Believe it or not, the California rolls actually tasted decent - which my 2 year old scarfed down. Aside from that, nothing of concern or importance - nothing, nada, zilch. Bad service, bad food, bad experience - I strongly recommend staying away from this place. For the desperately famished, 5.5 out of 10 bones. Yeah, I know they have multiple locations - more places to spread their nastiness.

Taisho Sushi had one redeeming feature - it was in the mall. Bathrooms were okay - way better than Fish on Rice or Sui Sha Ya. Lunch rush consists of self-service pickup of sushi from one of two belt driven sushi movers. Limited sushi selection - not too sure if any of the sushi is made to order . . . 2 hours earlier? Menu is difficult to navigate, not user friendly. The menu was not balanced - nothing was consistent except for the tough beef ribs and old dynamite rolls - well, the salmon and tuna nigiri were no miss. I give them a 6 out of 10 bones.

Note that if any place scores under a 5, they aren't even making sushi. A 5 out of 10 simply means that they have passable sushi and barely legitimate "others" on their menus. I scored these places based on taste, quality, cleanliness, service, and variety.

Vancouver 0 - Calgary 2

Okay, here is another one of those posts that just reflects my Calgarian sensibilities post-relocation to the Lower Mainland. Fortunately, I must say, I live in the wonderful city of Surrey. The Province will go ahead with a "controversial" plan to widen Highway 1 and twin the Port Mann bridge. So far, so good. Now, this might cost commuters a smacking $2.50 big ones for a one way trip . . . alright, I still need to think about that, but no serious red flags yet. The Province even tossed in recent survey data that put commuters at a whopping 70% support rating if tolls were either reduced or even eliminated during non-peak hours. Okay, that still sounds within the bounds of reasonable. THEN, we hear from the Dog Pound from Vancouver's city hall . . . "uh, duh, if we widen Highway 1 it will clog our Vancouver city streets with more cars . . . uh, duh." WHAT?!?! Click here for the article. Are you guys whack or WHAT? What gives with all the weirdness from Vancouver? Dudes, have you been on 1st Avenue during traffic hour? Or Hastings? HELLO doorknobs from Vancouver city council, are you budheads still puffing? I'm in no way claiming to be a professional civil engineer/planner by any stretch of the imagination, but it just might help the yaks at Van-city Hall to get with the program and make it less stressful for all the outer lying areas (e.g. Burnaby, Co, PoMo, PoCo, Surrey, Langley, etc.) traveling to and from work - who in turn put cash into the pockets of the Van-city regime!!! Gheesh, what kind of logic is that??? Widening Highway 1 JUST might relieve some of the traffic congestion that STARTS in the city of Vancouver and eventually bleeds east of the city! For a bunch of Granola loving, Eco-pushing, tree-hugging, try hards . . . you would think that they MIGHT or WOULD lean towards an initiative that would reduce greenhouse emissions . . . ARGH! Vancouver TRY HARDS!

Just for the record, here are the actual BC Stats for population of municipalities as of 2005 (also cities affected by the widening of Highway 1, not including Maple Ridge: 73,280; Mission: 34,742; Chilliwack: 70,522; etc.):

Burnaby: 204,324
New Westminster: 57,480
Coquitlam: 121,973
Surrey: 393,137
Langley: 25,716
Township of Langley: 97,125
Abbostford: 127,434

roughly: 1,027,189 people

VERSUS

Vancouver: 583,267 (guesstimate 1/3 of this for the east side affected areas)

So You Want to Buy a House?

I found a great cache of archives from CBC Radio entitled "Get Smart with Real Estate." Check them out here. I haven't had time to go through all the broadcasts yet, but the one I listened in on was well worth it. "Is Vancouver in a housing bubble and what is a housing bubble?" Check that one here. BTW, you'll need a Real Player to listen in on the goods.

On another note, when we signed our initial purchase contract and placed a downpayment on our apartment, the sales person had an interesting comment for us. "So you are 'real home buyers'?" She must have said this three times - as though she were staring right into the elusive eyes of Sasquatch for the very first time in her life! We were the first actual home buyers she'd ever met - not some yahoo investor rep/standin guy. That very same week, a bunch of real estate agents we contacted to assist in finding a home in our price range, called us back and gave us grief for not signing on with an agent. After some confusion, I discovered that there was a spot on our sales contract that had a space for a real estate agent - opps, we just buy things back in Calgary. I didn't know we needed someone to represent us on getting new digs, in Cow-town when purchasing new you just hit the builder for the bill - yeah, pay some kook to buy slurpees for me . . . right. Perhaps, I was just turned off by the all-too-common-turn-down attitude of most Lower Mainland realtors. I don't even think they want business - seriously. Back in Calgary, we had roughly 1,900 listings in a city with 4,000+ realtors. Heck yeah, they'll work for your business. Vancouver, you need to wake up! Props to y'allz in Cow-town - you deserve the gold!

Tory Budget

Okay, I never really took notice in the past, but now it's personal. Since we came to Surrey, we've been noticing this PST on some of our receipts. Ouch! Thanks to the new Tory PM, we might just see some 1% cut off from our current GST (currently sitting comfortably at 7%). That's a whopping 6% GST (Goods & Services Tax for those of you still wondering)! I guess for those of you with kids are also quite happy - come July 2006 we will see a universal child care benefit that will put $1,200/kid under the age of six in the pockets of parents . . . apparently, this is still taxable, but to whichever spouse earns the lower income. Dude, it's nice living in Canada. If you are still going "huh"? Check out a summary of the 2006 Federal Budget here.

Kicking it in Surrey

Great experience the other day. Wife went in to the local bank for some change for the laundry room. A few of the other customers with her included: an Islamic woman wearing a head covering dressed quite modern and stylish, 2 Vietnamese men attempting to wire a load of cash, and a few East Indians. She felt quite comfortable being a visible minority for once in her life (especially one from suburban Calgary). I thought that was neat, I like that.

FYI, "Population by Ethnic Origin in the GVRD from 2001 Census" data - click here. Interesting data.

Weapons of Mass Productions

Do you have:

Shills in the shrine?
Commerce in the cathedral?
ATMs in the apse?

Forget the tedium of fashioning a whip of cords, which may require multiple applications before being effective! Stop shouting yourself hoarse about the Lord's house becoming "a den of robbers!" Quit crying about not being strong enough nor angry enough to turn over tables!

Let the TEMPLE KLENZERTM do the work!

The TEMPLE KLENZERTM emits a powerful pulse of electromagnetic energy, instantly disabling the computer circuitry of any cash register, cash machine - or any other cash cow - that may have invaded your sacred space.

As an added bonus, the TEMPLE KLENZERTM also disables most cell phones - no longer will your prayers be interrupted by ring tones of the theme from Beverly Hills Cop!

ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE A HANDSOMELY ENGRAVED PLAQUE OF THE BEATITUDES ABSOLUTELY FREE! Perfect for posting in your local courthouse, public school classroom, or military recruiting office! (Gospel of Luke version - includes both "blessings" and "woes"!)

*Results may vary. Do not use TEMPLE KLENZERTM if you wear a pacemaker, are pregnant, may become pregnant, or know anyone who has ever been pregnant. Side effects may include ringing ears, nausea, dry mouth, drooling, weight loss, height loss, loss of appetite, blurred vision, weight gain, dizziness, fatigue, hyperactivity, shortness of breath, prickly heat, boils, frogs, locusts, and darkness.

Courtesy of Sojourners Magazine. April Fool's! =)

Frank Shamrock / Cesar Gracie Knockout Clip

The two fights that pumped me up the most were the Shamrock/Gracie and Hughes/Gracie matchups. I found the video highlights to the Frank Shamrock/Cesar Gracie fight here. Frank sure looks good in the standup - guess his time with Cung Le has paid off. Well that fight's over. After Royce's classic line to Matt Hughes "this is my house [referring to the Octogon], I built it", I hope his fight lasts longer than his cousin's (upcoming on UFC 60 May 27). BTW, it is interesting to note that Matt Hughes placed Psalm 60.12 on his official website:

"With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies" (NIV).

Favorite TV Shows

I don't know why, but someday I will reflect back on this post and soak up the wisdom and growth that occured between then and now. Here's my list of favorite TV shows:

The Unit (CBS) - a special ops army unit that answers only to the president
NCIS (CBS) - Jethro Gibbs, former Marine sniper, cool as ice
E-Ring (NBC) - everything Special Forces, the Pentagon, and politics
Battlestar Galactica (on SciFi or Space) - raw, fracken raw
Restaurant Makeover (Food TV Canada) - kooky jingle polka music
Holmes on Homes (HGTV) - "If you're gonna do something, do it right the first time!"

Now you know what I'm about, peace.

Watch March Madness for FREE!

Okay, everyone calm down. CBS has finally done it, they have FREAKED out! Yeah, that's right they will offer FREE streaming video of the NCAA Men's Basketball Finals FREE! Did I say Free, yes I did say FREE! "All 56 games from the first three rounds of the tourney will be available for FREE!" Get the message? For you bad boyees at work in some cubicle someplace, somewhere - bosses beware! HA, click here for the dealz. Man, that's just crazy!

Calgary Housing Market Getting Hotter

Taken from the CTV News site

"It's almost hard to believe, but Calgary's housing market is now even hotter. It's great if you already own a home, because prices are still going up. The average sale price of a single family home in Calgary hit $342,000 last month, up 29 per cent over last year. The price of condos is also way up. In February, the average price was $217,000, up 22 per cent from the same time last year. The skyrocketing prices are making it hard for first time buyers to afford a place. Ironically, the hot market is also making it tough for realtors. There are approximately 5,000 agents in the city, clamoring for between 1,500 and 2,000 listings."

All I can say is . . . wow and darn. I'm moving into the highest real estate market in all of Canada (Greater Vancouver Area), click here for their real estate market stats. I also found a great blog - the Vancouver Housing Blog - that offers good, thorough market insight into the Vancouver real estate bubble.

A side note on this real estate boom - healthy province (thank you Uncle Ralph), healthy city (thank you 25,000 people moving into Cow-town a year), healthy economy (naturally a money maker . . . I also know that gas and oil won't last forever). Calgary has all the right ingredients for a healthy real estate market at this time - it makes good sense for it to boom. But what's up with Vancouver? Is it truly a developer's paradise? What gives in Van-city?

Dr. Wafa Sultan: Freestyle Battle #?

Anyone ever heard of Dr. Wafa Sultan? Well you should, the Arab-American, Syrian expatriate took on a certain Algerian Imam Jihadist named Dr. Ibrahim Al-Khouli on Al-Jazeera TV (February 21, 2006) in a freestyle battle of the intellectual type. Did I mention that Dr. Sultan is a woman? All I can say is . . . she got MAD skillz YO?

Click here for the video clip.
Click here for the transcript.

You know the world is different when . . .

I recalled a quote I heard a few months back with Chris Rock,



"You know the world is different when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the 3 most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colin'!"

Yo Chris, how much fo' jus' one rib?

What's Your Vocation Worth?

I finally found something that substantiated a theory of mine regarding the low investment and high expectations of pastors. Unfortunately, this theory is now a fact. Keep in mind that Canadian Chinese churches consistently come well under the average in terms of pastoral salaries and packages - this is yet another fact that my denomination has made yearly reports on (from time to time, our denomination's districts will collect info regarding pastoral salaries and benefits for reporting purposes).

Anyhow, aside from the fact that most respectable Chinese parents will not allow their children to pursue liberal arts degrees (and just because 1 parent out of a thousand releases their child into Bible school doesn't justify the disillusionment of the 999) - let alone chase dreams of full-time Christian ministry - what kind of a message are we sending to our next generation (a message that has been repeated a few generations already)? Low pay, a hostile and discriminatory view of ministry, the added parental guilt and manipulation of financial success . . . end result, a non-sustainable and underdeveloped vision for local-born Chinese ministry . . . in other words, no future.